Too Close For Comfort
by SerenaKyle
Summary: Cartman's an Anti-Semitic. Kyle's a Jew. Put two and two together in the same house and it's ends up being Too Close For Comfort! My twist on a Kyman romance! Give it a try!
1. Karma's a Jew

**This is my first story! Or Fan Fic might I add! It was my first time, and I'm still learning, so I hope it doesn't sound too much like an essay xD**

**I had this great idea in my head for a fanfic, so I wanted to share it with you guys, and hopefully you guys like it! And of course,**

**I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, OR THE GAME "JUST DANCE" OR THE Wii CONSOLE. I do not intend to make ANY profit, what-so-ever! 3**

**Enjoy you guys!** (grammatical errors = sorry!)

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><p>"God dammit," Cartman said as he noticed the grey clouds moving in over their heads, as they waited for the school bus to arrive.<p>

"The one time I don't bring a god damn umbrella is fucking rains! Can one of you guys share your umbrellas with me?"

Complete silence took over as they all ignored his plea for protection. Kenny and Kyle took out their umbrellas and flipped them open as Stan got out his poncho.

"AY. Don't fucking ignore me, I asked you guys a fucking question!" As soon as Cartman finished his hissy fit, drops of water started to fall.

"Hey _Kinny_," Eric said sincerely, with drops of water falling on his head. "You think you can share that umbrella wi- God dammit Kenny."

"What?"

"Leave it up to Kenny's family to have umbrellas with HOLES in it. Your poorness irritates me, you know that?"

"FUCK you, Eric!" Kenny shouted as he pulled out his middle finger and shined it in Cartman's face.

"Yeah, yeah" Cartman mumbled as he moved on to his next victim. He then caught eyes with Stan, who immediately said, "Dude, There's no way you're going to squeeze in here with me."

"I KNOW, STAN. I'm not fucking stupid! God!" Cartman yelled as he passed Stan and went to Kyle.

"_Khy_-"

"I'm not sharing my umbrella with you." Kyle said blankly, cutting off Cartman before he could even finish his name.

"FINE. I don't wanna share umbrellas with a fucking Jew anyway!"

"Go to hell, fatass!"

"Suck mah balls, damn selfish red-headed Jew!"

"Fuck you! I wouldn't share my umbrella with a fat bastard like you, anyway!"

"I hope you get aids and DIE. I hope you get fucking aids and DIE, KHYLE."

"Dude, can you just share your umbrella with him so he can shut the hell up?" Stan interrupted, with his head down while holding the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger.

"It's funny how both of you managed to stay the same all the way up to the 8th grade." Kenny mentioned, slightly laughing as he said it.

Kyle grunted, but finally said okay. So Cartman squeezed next to him under the one person umbrella, satisfied as ever with the slightest smile on his face. Kyle, however, looked at him in disgust, and tried to get as far away from his as possible from him without being revealed to the rain. No matter how many times Kyle moved over, Cartman just got closer, and closer, as if he lived to piss him off.

"Anyway, have you guys heard about that awesome new video game called 'Just Dance'? It's this dance game for the Wii console." Kyle brought up. "I recently bought it at the game store. It plays mainstream music and creates dances to each song that you have to try and dance while holding the wireless remote."

"Khyle, only girls and fags would buy a game like that. Plus Jews have no rhythm so that game would be totally wasted on your Jew ass." Kyle's face became slightly irritated at Cartman's racial slur, but he wasn't in the mood to start arguing again. He knew Cartman was just being his asshole self.

"Yeah, dude. It sounds gay." Stan replied.

"Mhm. REALLY gay." Kenny followed.

"Well I thought it looked pretty fun. How about you guys come over after school today so we can try it out?"

"No dude, remember? We have that project to work on in Science that Ms. Handoncock is going to assign to us today," Stan said, reminding Kyle of the project due tomorrow.

"Oh, right! I forgot about that! Well, maybe tomorrow you guys can come over."

"Alright, that'll work." Stan affirmed. "It'll be a nice break from all the work we'll be doing tonight." Stan said, completely bummed by the amount of work ahead of him.

"Okay. Kenny? How about you?"

"Hmm, okay!"

"Alright awesome."

"Sorry, Khyle," Cartman said a second later. "I might not be able to make it that day. I was planning on watching the snow melt on my front lawn. Yep, it's gonna be pretty intense."

"Who said I was inviting invited you?" Kyle said, as he kept his face straight forward, not caring about Cartman's undeserved cockiness.

"..Huh?"

"I said," Kyle replied, turning his head towards Cartman's, leaving a couple of inches between their faces,

"What makes you think I'm inviting you over my house?" Cartman's conceitedness was suddenly covered with embarrassment.

"Well," Cartman said nervously, "I assumed that by 'you guys', you meant all 3 of us. Come on Khyle, don't be such an ass licker."

"Why do you even care? I thought you were going to go watch the snow melt."

"Who the hell watches snow _MELT_?" Cartman answered abruptly while the bus pulled up in front of them, adding a big _SPLASH_ to the sudden stop due to the pouring rain. Stan and Kenny started to board the bus.

"Fine," Kyle said, "You can come too, but you have to promise NOT to be a complete bastard."

"Oh come on now, _Khyle_. That's like asking me not to breathe."

"Yeah, that too."

"AY!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, class. Settle down." Ms. Handoncock said, relaxing the hyper 14 year olds back into their desk.<p>

"As you all should know," She continued, "Today is the day I assign your yearly project. Why yearly, you may ask. Well because I'm too busy to assign more than one project a year, and also my husband always complains about how much work I have to grade, and we NEVER have time to do the nasty-nasty, and that's probably why to this day I still don't have my own kid and it bothers both of us so very much, I mean his penis is not even-"

"MS. HANDONCOCK." The class shouted in unison, shutting up the teacher's daily rants on her own love life.

"Oh my. Sorry, class. I always end up treating you guys as my therapist."

"Jesus, dude. It seems like every year, we end up getting a teacher that drifts off from the lesson into their own personal life!" Kyle whispered to Stan.

"Seriously. It's annoying as hell."

"Anyway class… I forgot what- OH right. Your projects! Okay so, as I forgot to mention to you last Friday, you will be working in pairs on this project!"

"Weak!" Cartman said, knowing that he would be the last one left without a partner.

"And I will be assigning them to you."

"Oh thank Gad."Cartman said reassuringly.

"So Butters, you will be working with Kenny," She started to say, with her pen going down the class roster. "Craig you'll be with, Tweek. And I'll put Eric..."

"Yes… yes…"

"With Kyle."

"_WHAT? _NO!" Kyle yelled.

"Weak!"

"I'm sorry, is there a problem with your pairing?"

"Yes, there is! Me and Cartman HATE each other!"

"Well maybe this project will bring peace between the two of you."

"Ms. Hand_oncock_ I think you're missing something here." Cartman started.

"Excuse me? What exactly-"

"You see, Khyle is a Jew. And is goes against my beliefs to work and/or be associated with a Jew, such as Kyle here."

"That's it, fatass! You can forget about coming over my house on Tuesday!"

"As long as I won't have to work with a Jew on my project, I don't really care." Cartman replied. Kyle was furious, as his cheeks turned a deep red with anger.

"Children, settle-" _BRING BRING._

"Oh, hold on, kids." Ms Handoncock said as she made her way to the phone.

"You know Cartman, your bastard attitude is really gonna back fire on you. It's called 'Karma', and if you don't stop being such a racist fatass, something bad will happen to you someday."

"Khyle, lay off with the hippie shit, okay? Don't take your anger out on me, it's not my fault you're a Jew." Kyle gritted his teeth, angrier than ever.

"Eric Cartman?" Ms. Handoncock shouted as she covered the part of the phone in which she spoke in.

"Yes?"

"Principal's office. It's an _**emergency.**_"

"He probably ate all the donuts in the school cafeteria again." Kenny snickered as the entire class started to crack up.

"SHUTUP KENNY! THAT WAS 3 YEARS AGO."

"Eric. Go. NOW. It's urgent!" Ms. Handoncock once again mentioned.

Cartman left silently out of the classroom, Kyle watching him, anger burning deep in his eyes as he stared at the anti-Semitic boy leave the room.

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><p>"..What?"<p>

"The house sweetie... It burned down. I left the oven on downstairs to cook your pot pie for dinner, something must have sparked. I smelled a strong smoke that didn't fit what I was cooking, so I got out of the shower and went downstairs, well. Everything was on fire. A huge blaze... It was spreading faster than a wild fire!" Cartman's mom said, with her elbows on her lap as she started to cry in her hands. Cartman was completely speechless. His face was confused, yet angry at the same time.

"I'm sorry this happened," The Principal stated. "Ms. Cartman, I understand that you'll be having trouble finding a new place for you and your son to settle for the time being, that is, until you get your house re-built. So if Eric is a little bit late on his homework, I will completely understand."

"Oh, that won't be a problem." Ms. Cartman said, as she put a yield to her sobing. "I've already found a place for me and my poopiekins to stay for the next month." Cartman was still in shock at this point, not a facial expression changed.

"…Dude. What. The fuck."

"Eric, watch your language in front of your Principal!"

"Wu-Wu-Wait. The whole house. It's gone."

"That's right."

"Everything. It's gone. Clyde Frog? My clothes, my… MOM. WHERE'S MY XBOX?" His mom remained silent knowing that he would be devastated at the fact that _everything_ in the house was gone.

"No. NO. YOU'VE. GOT. TO BE. FUCKING. KIDDING MEEE!" Cartman threw a fit in the chair at the thought that his Xbox was burnt to ashes. He screamed and hollered like there was no tomorrow.

After about 7 minutes of nonstop tantrums, Eric was finally calmed down, staring blankly at the floor.

"Mom."

"Yes, dearie?"

"Mr. Kitty?"

"… Oh well, I last saw him in the house before the fire, but he could have possible escaped."

"Mr. Kitty. The cat that I've had since I was 8… and you're telling me that he's not here anymore."

"Sweetie, he could have escaped before the house was destroyed!"

"Could have." Cartman sighed as he realized that the same cat that had been with him since he was little, was now possibly gone, along with his house. Sentimental thoughts drafted through Cartman's head, as he thought about all the times that he and his cat spent together: Hiding his cat in the attic to protect him from the banishment of cats in South Park; telling it to stay away from his pot _pah_.

"Eric, if Mr. Kitty doesn't show up sooner or later, I'll get you another kitty, just like him."

"You seem to think that Mr. Kitty is replaceable. Mah clothes are replaceable, even mah Xbox. …But not mah Mr. Kitty."

"Oh, well I'm sorry hun."

"Okie," The Principal said. "Well, I think it's best for Eric to get back to class now. You don't want to miss the details on your project, now."

Eric got up quietly and headed for the door, eyes still on the floor, depressed, but thinking.

_That damn Khyle! Cursing me with his hippie karma shit! Fucking Jew ball ass tickling sonofabitch!_

"Oh sweetie," Cartman's mom said.

"Yes Mem?" Cartman whined in a low, childish voice.

"Walk home with your little friend, Kyle Broflovski today."

Cartman froze.

"Mem, why do I need to walk home with Khyle?" Cartman asked, still facing the door, holding it's handle in shock.

"Because the Broflovski's are allowing us to stay in their guest bedroom for the time being! Such nice people."

… _What? You've got to be fucking kidding me._

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><p><strong><em>Well? What do you think? tell me in a review, and if I get at least 1 person that enjoys my plot so far, it'll encourage me to keep writing :D<em>**

_**Thanks!**  
><em>


	2. Asses of Fire

**Hey you guys! With a cliche "thank you" I just want you guys to know that I really appreciate you guys for reading my story and giving it a try, as well as those who left really nice reviews! I take criticism too! since this is my first time writing a fan fic/story, I want to improve as much as I can!**

**Just so you guys know, there WILL be some romance between Eric and Kyle, but I have yet to know how I'm going to play into that since I don't even know how the story is going to continue.. (I just open MS word and start writing what comes to my mind x.x) Okay, I'll shut up now. **

**I do not own South Park, Matt S & Trey P do!**

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><p><strong><em>BRIIIIIIING~<em>**

The school bell rang, signaling everyone their freedom for the day.

"_The Broflovski's are allowing us to stay in their guest bedroom for the time being!"_ rang throughout Cartman's head since he first heard it in the Principal's office.

"I can't. Fucking believe it." Cartman wept, while exiting his 6th period class. "Out of all the fucking people… It had to be Jewboy."

* * *

><p>"<em>What do you mean they're allowing us to stay in their guest bedroom? Mom, I thought I told you NOT to trust Jews! Jews are bad people. They're BAD!" <em>

"_Eric, I think you're being just a bit too dramatic, poopie-"_

"_MOM, you're the one that accepted the offer to stay at a Jewish home, and you think I'm being a bit too dramatic? Why didn't you ask Stan's parents?"_

"_Well sweetie they don't have an available room. With their grampa March staying in the extra bedroom, they've already got a full house."_

"_B-Butters-what about Butters?" he said as if he was running out of breath._

"_Butters… Oh, the Stotch family? Well, I did ask them, but they mentioned something about Butters being grounded, and not being allowed to have guests over… I would've asked your friend Kenny's parents, that is if Kyle's parents didn't allow us to-"_

"_WHAT? Oh God. Mom, I'm not even sure if that place HAS rooms! It's just one big, hollow, BLOCK."_

"_Well then Cartman, you're just going to have to accept Jews because the Broflovski's are the only ones that can help us for the time being!"_

"… _Okay let's stay at Kenny's."_

"_ERIC."_

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><p>Cartman continued on to the front of the school, thinking about how screwed up his life got in one day. His house, <em>GONE<em>. His Xbox, _GONE_. Mr. Kitty, _WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN_. But his missing belongings weren't even the worst part. The worst part was the fact that he would be staying in the house, of a Jew. And not just any Jew, but a Jew with red hair. And not just any Jew with red hair, but Kyle.

Cartman made his way to the front of the school, while being pushed and shoved by kids wanting to leave the crowded hallways.

"Hey Eric," Cartman heard a monotonous nasal voice call him from behind.

"Oh, Jesus." Cartman said to himself.

"Eric," Craig slapped his hand on one of Cartman's shoulders as he finally caught up to Eric who was surprisingly walking faster than himself.

"What do you want, Craig." Cartman said while he continued to walk towards the exit.

"What happened in the Principals office earlier? Did you really eat all the donuts?"

"Not now, Craig." He started to get irritated, since Craig was the 4th person to ask him why he was sent to the Principal's office.

"Was it the fried chicken?"

"God dammit Craig, mind your own god damn business!" Cartman finally growled.

"… The one time I actually try to talk to you and you act like a complete douche-in-the-box." Craig flashed him the birdie then walked towards his own group of friends near the front of the school.

"Jackass." Cartman mumbled to himself as he walked outside. He spotted Stan, Kenny and Kyle standing in their own little group on the sidewalk near the street, laughing at some perverted joke Kenny had just told them.

"_Dude, that's sick!" _Stan shouted while snickering, loud enough for Cartman to hear. Cartman shifted his eyes over to Kyle, who was also laughing along with the others. He wondered whether or not Kyle had heard the news. His parents could have easily called during one of his other classes, and told him the news. Either way, Cartman knew this was going to be hell.

As Cartman started to walk towards his friends, someone rushed passed him on a skateboard, causing him to lose his balance and fall flat on his rear end. A sharp pain zipped though his nervous system as he finally let go of a painful scream. He sat there, regretting that fact that it wouldn't have hurt as much if he was still extremely overweight. Since he got to middle school, he slowly started to lose weight due to the fact that he had to walk home from school every day. The school bus didn't take middle school students home due to a shortage of buses in the South Park area. Still Chubby, just a lot less fat.

"MOTHER FUCK!" Cartman yelled, finally attempting to get up from his awkward position on the floor. He didn't notice everyone near the accident stare at him after his loud yell, but then again he didn't care. He stood up straight and attempted to crack his back by pushing in his shoulder blades, and wriggled his pelvis a bit. His ass hurt like hell. Limping, he made his way over to his friends, who didn't seem to care.

"Well thanks, guys," He started, "I suppose it would've been too hard for to walk 2 yards over to me and help me up!"  
>"Calm down fatass. I'm sure it wasn't that hard to get up anyway."<p>

"My ass is on fire and you think it wasn't that hard to get up, Khyle?" Cartman retorted. Kenny started to laugh, but attempted to cover it by coughing it out.

"The hell are you laughing at?" Cartman bitched at Kenny, noticing his laughter.

"_Mmhmhaha_! Well, you said your ass was on fire, and I couldn't help but think of that Terrance and Phillip movie we watched years ago!"

"Hey dude, you're right!" Stan mentioned as he began to laugh hysterically at the reference. Suddenly every one, but Cartman, was laughing at his random phrase.

"Man that brings back memories." Stan added.

"So what, you think my pain is funny? You think I like having my ass feel like it's frying on a sautéing pan? Well you know what - _Screw you gahs, I'm going ho-_ …"

Cartman suddenly stopped talking, knowing that he didn't_ have_ a home go to. Reality smacked him in the face once again, as he remembered his Mom telling him to walk home with Kyle today.

"Uh, God." Cartman said, suddenly slapping the middle of his forehead with the palm of his hand, leaving it there to somehow get rid of the migraine coming on.

"Hey, what's wrong Cartman?" Stan questioned.

"Uh, I gotta tell you guys something. My house, it-"

"Do you think you can tell us that tomorrow? We do have a project to work on, and it's not gonna do its self." Kyle suggested.

"Oh crap, you're right! I'm supposed to meet Clyde in front of his locker. I'll see you guys later." Stan said running back inside the school. "Later." Kyle replied.

"Alright you guys," Kenny stated. "I'm gonna go to Butters house now, there's a high chance of me getting something to eat for dinner other than a waffle, bye guys!" Kenny said with a big grin, as he turned around and headed for the Stotch's home.

"I think Kenny has lost the entire point of being at Butter's house." Kyle commented, slightly laughing.

"Well, Cartman, your house or mine?"

"Uh, well, I don't think we have a choice Khyle. It has to be your house."

"What do you mean 'we don't have a choice'?" Kyle replied as he started to walk home, Cartman following behind.

"Well, you know how I got called out of class earlier?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, *_cough_* my house, it… Sort of… b..." Cartman mumbled in a way that Kyle could not understand.

"What? Speak up, Cartman!" Kyle yelled, turning around to look at him. Cartman barely bumped into him.

"My *cough* houseburnttotheground."

"Cartman, I don't understand what-"

"MY HOUSE BURNT DOWN. IT'S GONE. NO MORE. ADIOS. SAYONARA. DAMN JEW."

Kyle's wide eyes stared directly into Cartman's eyes, slightly looking up at him since Cartman was 5'6, and two inches taller than him.

"…"

"KHYLE..." Cartman said, getting a bit irritated by his silence, and intense stare.

"…_Haha_. _Hahahaha_. _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" Kyle finally cracked.

"_AHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ Oh God-_ahahaha!_ Wuh. Wuh. What?" he chuckled, with barely any air in his lungs.

"Khyle, you sonofabitch."

"I'm, I'm sorry Cartman. _Haha_! It just, so PERFECT. And, and the best part is that I was JUST telling you about Karma!_ Ahaha! _Fat bastard!"

"Khyle. Khyle shut your heartless Jew mouth!"

"Thank you for that. That seriously and honestly made my day. Nothing can possibly make this day at all bad." Kyle said, wiping the tears out of his eyes, still somewhat chuckling.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you'll be laughing even _MORE_ when you find out where I'll be staying until my house is rebuilt." Cartman retorted, while continuing to walk to Kyle's house. Kyle followed.

"And, where would that be?"

"Ohh, you'll find out soon enough, Khyle. You'll find out soon enough." he said with a devilish grin on his face.

* * *

><p>"HE'S <em>WHAT?<em>"

"Your friend Eric is staying with us for the time being, bubby!" Mrs. Broflovski assured as she pet Cartman's shoulder with a smile on her face. Cartman also had a smile, but twisted with an evilness lurking underneath it.

"Thank you, Mrs. Broflovski. I'm sure Kyle and I will be the best of friends while I'm here."

"He and his mom will be staying in the guest bedroom upstairs." Mr. Broflovski added.

"Oh, nonsense, Gerald. Ms. Cartman will have her own room for her own feminine privacies; Eric will stay with Kyle in his room. Now Kyle, get your friend Eric situated upstairs, and I'll make you guys some dinner."

Kyle's mom and dad left for the kitchen as Kyle stood in front of Cartman, his eyes wide open, and his mouth slightly parted. He was completely flabbergasted.

"No. No! This can't be happening."

"Why, yes. Yes it is happening, Khyle! Should I pinch you to confirm realitah?" Cartman stated, with the widest grin on his face. Kyle stood there, still in shock at what he had just heard.

"Karma, huh? Seems like it came to me, then bounced off to yeww! Oh, isn't this funny? Laugh with me Kyle, laugh with me! _Ahahahaha!_"

"… Cartman?" Kyle said, breaking his shocked state.

"Mmm, Yes?"

"Have I ever told you how much I despise you?"

"Oh, come on Kyle. I was bound to come here anyway. We have that Universal, Star… Project thingy to work on, remember?"

"It's called 'The Study of the Universe: Our Solar System', and yeah, that was for a project which would take 2 HOURS, maybe 3, tops. But not a month!"

"So are you just gonna stand here and bitch at me, or are you going to show me where I'll be sleeping tonight?" Cartman stated, completely ignoring Kyle's complaints.

"Ughh, come on." Kyle whimpered, telling Cartman to follow him upstairs. Cartman tapped Kyle which caused him to look over his shoulder.

"You know, I thought I was going to absolutely hate this, but seeing you this depressed just makes me so freakin' happy. And don't you worry, Kyle. I'm sure it'll be just like a never ending sleepover." Cartman suggested, adding a wink to the end of his statement.

"_Help me, God._" Kyle mumbled, turning around to head back upstairs.

Kyle had the feeling that while Cartman was here, something would go wrong, but he didn't know what.

And he didn't _want_ to know what.

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><p><strong>Review and tell me how the second chapter went! <strong>_If I had typos, I'm completely sorry_!** I stayed up all night because I wanted to release the second chapter ASAP since I got encouraging reviews! The more comments, the faster I update since I know some people are enjoying it! :D  
><strong>

**I'll try to make this story fun to read as much as I can! D: Thanks for reading!**


	3. Thoughts Running Loose

**(Like always, thank you for the favorites/alerts/reviews! *less than 3*)  
><strong>

**Oh my my my. Yeah, It's been roughly a week since I updated. I wasn't planning on postponing it this late, but I'm a HUGE procrastinator. I finally managed to get this chapter finished! I'm not really sure about this one to be honest. I'm half asleep, my head is pounding, and I haven't slept since yesterday xl I might end up changing this chapter a bit when I'm fully awake? Maybe not xD I just really wanted to get the plot moving.**

**So if this chapter is really strange at all, in any way, I apologize.  
><strong>

**I do not own South Park! Trey P and Matt S do!  
><strong>

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><p>Kyle pulled out a blue comforter, along with a thinner white sheet from his closet, and placed them on the floor. He picked up the comforter, shook it open, and laid it neatly next to his bed.<p>

"There." Kyle said, pointing at the floor.

"Okay, that's nice. Now where will I be sleeping?" Cartman replied.

"What do you mean, fatass? _This _is where you'll be sleeping."

"On the _floor_? Well, I thought as your guest, you would at least let me sleep on your bed."

"Cartman, you're not sleeping on my bed. You're already sleeping in my house, surprisingly sleeping in my room, but you're _not_ sleeping on my bed. So can we just start this project?"

"Well, Fahn!" Cartman hissed, mumbling insulting words that were barely audible as he searched through his backpack for supplies. Kyle rolled his eyes and took a seat in front of his computer on his desk. He picked up his book bag and took out the folder that held the details on the project.

"Okay, so, our project is specifically on… the sun. Well, it won't be that hard to write a report on the sun. Do you think you can start working on the model, Cartman?"

"With what? Notebook paper?"

"No, dumbass. I have a box of common project supplies in the corner near my toy box. You can look in there to find some things you may need in order to build a model of the sun."

"Why am I building the model? Why can't you do the model and I write the report?"

"Because when you write reports, you always end up writing about how the Jews are trying to take over the world, regardless of what the topic is."

"That's because it's true! You know it Khyle!"

"Yeah, whatever. Just start the model."

"_In denial._" Cartman grumbled as he headed for the box. He spotted plenty of crayons, a cardboard paper, glue, yarn, some colorful metal-y bendy shit, etc. As he continued to search for supplies, he luckily spotted a spherical foam ball that fit perfectly between his two hands, which would make a great base for the sun. He took that, along with a water paint tray, glue, and yellow and orange construction paper. "_Alright." _He thought to himself. He brought the supplies to the center of the room and plopped them down on the floor along with himself. He stared at the supplies while in deep thought.

Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, he started to cry. The tears were uncontrollable. Cartman was confused and sad at the same time, not knowing why he was crying. He pulled the sleeve of his sweater over his hand and used it to wipe at his tears.

"Did you find anything to – Cartman?" Kyle said as he turned around on his leather computer chair.

"Cartman what's the matter?"

"Nuh-nothing, Jew," Cartman cried as his voice cracked in a slightly higher pitched voice than usual. Cartman suddenly came to terms with the fact that his house was really gone, along with all of his belongings. He was something he never thought he would be in his life – homeless. Everything he treasured – gone.

"You're crying." Kyle was both worried and scared, had he never seen Cartman cry with such sorrow.

"No, no I'm not." Cartman said, wiping the evidence off of his cheek.

"Yes, you are. Your eyes are watery and puffy and I can see the water on your cheeks."

"No, you can't, Khyle."

"Yes I _can, _Cartman."

"No you _can't_ Khyle. You _can't _see me crying! You _can't_ see water on my cheeks – I'm fahn!" Cartman shouted. Kyle looked at him with a blank face, not sure what his reaction should be.

"… Fine." He finally said, turning back to his computer screen, and continued to type. Cartman's palms were placed on his forehead, partially covering his eyes, attempting to push back the tears that just wouldn't stop. His nose started to turn pink. His head pounded and his mind was scattering all over the place. He suddenly felt something hit the side of his torso. When he looked up, he saw a Kleenex box next to his knee. He looked up at Kyle whose eyes were still glued to the computer screen.

"Ugh." Cartman wanted to say thank you, but the pride he held was too strong (and stupid), so instead he said,

"Cheep Jew with your 1-ply box of tissue papers."

"It's one more than what you have." Kyle said, with a smirk on his face, yet not quite smiling. "Just get that diagram done."

* * *

><p>2 hours passed by, and Kyle had completely finished the report. Mrs. Broflovski brought their dinner to them upstairs, since she knew they would be busy working on their project. They both ate their Potato latkes with a bit of sour cream, which surprisingly tasted great to Cartman. Since Kyle finished the report, he was helping Cartman with the sun. Cartman painted the entire ball yellow, and sat it on top of a piece of construction paper to let it dry. Kyle was creating a stand for the ball, while Cartman was cutting out the 'rays' of the sun. They were both silent for a long period of time.<p>

"So," Kyle said, breaking the calming quietness, "You feel like telling me why you broke down into a pussy earlier?"

"Khyle, the last thing I am is a pussy, alright? And if I may add, that was a manly cry."

"Oh, yeah." Kyle said while letting out a slight chuckle.

"…I'm still pissed as hell though. My mom shouldn't have left the damn oven on."

"The oven caught on fire?"

"That's what she said. Everything I own is gone except the clothes on my back. Even my Xbox."

"That's weak dude."

"Yeah. Mr. Kitty is missing as well, not sure if he went down with the house or if he managed to escape."

"Like I said before, it's called 'Karma', and it can be quite a bitch sometimes."

"Khyle, don't start with that Karma crap again. My mom made a dumbass mistake. It has nothing to do with shit coming back at me because I called you what you are."

"… You know," Kyle started, "I would further explain to you at how your way of treating people would come back to bite you in the ass, but you're just too damn ignorant for me to even _want_ to even talk to you."

"Good, let's leave it that way, Khyle." Cartman mumbled, leaving Kyle with a slightly irritated face. Kyle didn't understand why Cartman intended to be such a bastard all of the time. Even when Kyle tried to be somewhat considerate, he would come up with an insulting comment that made him angry as hell.

"I really don't understand you, Cartman."

"And I doubt you ever will."

* * *

><p>The project was officially complete. The foam ball was painted yellow, along with yellow and orange construction paper cut into triangles and glued onto the globe which gave a 'fiery' look, along with a really neat stand Kyle made by using a paperclip for the basic support, and some foam sheets to support it entirely. They were completely tired.<p>

"Ughh, next time Kyle, we hire Mexicans. My back is killing me." Cartman said. He was sitting for nearly 4 hours straight, making his bum super numb.

"Agreed." Kyle said in similar pain. He was laying down on his back, trying to straighten out his aching spine. He took a glance at his digital clock: _8:30._

"Well, Cartman. I'm going to take a shower. You can take one after I get out." Kyle implied while getting up from the floor.

"Alright," Cartman yawned.

"I'll leave a spare towel and tooth brush on the counter in the bathroom for you to use, and I'm guessing you'll need something to sleep in…" He went to his dresser and vigorously searched for clothing that might fit him.

"My mom bought me some new outfits and boxers, but I'm guessing she forgot what I'd be sleeping in." Cartman said, looking in the bag his mom brought to Kyle's room an hour ago.

"Here," Kyle threw a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt at Cartman, who apparently wasn't paying attention since it landed on top of his head, triggering Kyle's funny bone.

"AHA HA HA. Very funny Khyle," Cartman said, muffled due to the clothes covering his face. He pulled the clothes off of his head and looked at Kyle with a very annoyed expression.

"Towel's in the bathroom," Kyle said, still chuckling while exiting the door.

* * *

><p>"I am so ready to pass out, you have no idea." Cartman said, kneeling down on the comforter located next to Kyle's bed. The clothes Kyle gave Cartman fit him perfectly, strange enough.<p>

"Oh please fatass. You're not the one who had to write a 3 pages report solely on the sun. My fingers feel like matches that've been lit." Kyle replied, plopping down onto his bed face first. Kyle loved the way his pillow felt molded to his face.

"Stop calling me a fatass! I've lost plenty of weight for me to be at a point where I won't be called that, jew!"

"Cartman, you could lose all of the weight you have on you now and I'd still call you a fatass. It's not who you are on the outside, but who you are on the inside, which happens to be a fatass."

"_Last time I checked you were the one with the huge ass._"

"What was that?"

"GOOD NIGHT, KHYLE." Cartman roared, as he covered himself with the clean bed sheet. Kyle simply shook his head and turned on his back, while slipping the lower part of his body under his blanket. He simply stared at the ceiling, thinking about the long month ahead of him, not knowing if Cartman would be a complete pain in the ass, or if he was thinking too much. Cartman staying in his house wasn't really a big problem. It was the fact that it was coincidentally _his_ house that shocked Kyle. They've had many sleepovers so it didn't come across as uncomfortable, or unusual. It was just… weird. Kyle officially convinced himself that he was thinking a bit too much, so he let his mind wander and drifted to sleep, hoping for a decent day tomorrow.

* * *

><p><em>Kyle found himself running down a dark hallway. He was laughing and smirking as he continued to run towards the dark end. Once he reached the end of the hallway he felt himself falling, an adrenaline rush just pulsing through his nerves as he finally reached the bottom with a trampoline landing. He turned around and was suddenly in a land of big teddy bears. Big, happy teddy bears. The sky was dark, but the land was so bright it came off as a light itself. He turned around and saw a big fluffy teddy bear walk up to him, asking him to be his friend. Once Kyle agreed to be his friend, he immediately felt himself wrap his arms around the bear, hugging and petting it. The bear suddenly became a normal sized teddy, and fell right into Kyle's arms, who brought it in for a kiss on the nose. It started to get dark, as Kyle's body was beginning to gain consciousness. <em>

* * *

><p>"Mmm…" Kyle moaned, not wanting to be woken up. Kyle had no idea what the fuck happened in that dream of his, though bits of it seemed to have been slowly fading away from his memories.<p>

Kyle really didn't want to get up though. His bed felt comfortably warm, warmer than it would usually be. His face felt undeniably hot as well. His eyes slowly began to open, blink after blink until he could see clearly in front of him.

For some reason, Cartman was right in front of him, his right arm hanging loosely over Kyle's waist, Kyle's left arm hugging the back of Cartman's neck, and their lips lightly brushing up against each other.

* * *

><p><strong>(The dream was supposed to be weird, and totally confusing, because that's how dreams are in real life, right? ._.")<strong>

**While I was editing this, my eyes wouldn't stay open, so if there are typos, think of them as love. I don't know how I feel about this chapter, but I guarantee the next chapter will be better! Okay, I'm going to dive into my bed and not come out for another 8 hours. So I hope this story kept you busy, and hopefully you like it so far!**

**Reviews make me super happy (I actually cried at my first review xD) Don't criticize me too badly for this chapter plzz. I was barely awake when I wrote it, so no harsh criticism D: !  
><strong>


	4. Fatass

**oh my gosh, I got so many awesome reviews, I'm glad you guys are enjoying my story! It's been a really long time since I released a chapter, and I really apologize for the delay. I've been so caught up in babysitting my 5 year old cousin, I barely had enough time to write my story x-x  
><strong>

**Well, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter: Please, criticize if there are some parts you didn't like. I know I'm not a great writer, so I really hope that if I have faults in my writing, you guys point them out! if you didn't like something in the story or and grammatical errors I may have in this chapter, feel free to become that grammar Nazi that's deep in your soul!  
><strong>

**Also, compliments or positive feedback are also accepted ^^ (They make me 'sooper' happy!)**

**I do not own South Park! Matt S and Trey P do!**

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh my God."<em> Kyle thought as his eyes widened, clearly comprehending the position he was in. He quickly leaped back, causing his head to hit the base of his bed support with a great amount of force.

"_Owww_," he moaned, grabbing the back of his head with a pain stricken face. Cartman was a very light sleeper, so the _thud_ against the bed woke him, eyes landing on Kyle's face.

"Mmmn, Jew? The hell are you on my comforter for?" his eyes were half open.

"I - I fell, fatass."

"Kyle, I'm not a fag, so your hopes of sleeping with me end here." Cartman said as he turned around to go to back to sleep. Kyle felt his face turned red, not knowing if it was from the pain increasing on the back of his head, or the awkward kiss he woke up to.

_Kiss? …_

Kyle quickly stood up and dashed to the bathroom, nearly tripping over Cartman as he ran towards the door.

"The fuck!" Kyle could hear Cartman curse as he opened the bedroom door. As soon as he got in the bathroom, he flicked on the light and turned on the sink faucet, roughly washing his lips as if he just kissed a plate of poo.

… No. He kissed something much worse than a plate of poo.

Kyle looked at himself in the mirror, realizing how red he made his lips after all of that scrubbing. He slowly touched his bottom lip, then turned around to grab his towel off the rack, and to his surprise, his younger brother Ike was sitting on the toilet, watching him intensely.

"Ike? Why are you… using the bathroom in the dark?" Kyle hesitantly responded. Ike wiped, hopped off the toilet, flushed, and then continued to stare at his big brother who was waiting for a response.

"I didn't think anyone would come through the locked door." Ike finally responded, pulling up his pants.

"The door's not locked."

"Not anymore."

"…Oh..." Kyle turned to look at the doorknob, which was nearly forced off of the lock.

"Shit." Kyle sighed, and then continued to wipe the water from his face.

"For someone to break the lock on a locked door to a bathroom," Ike started, as he reached for the liquid soap, "means only 2 things: your large intestine is about to blow and you've got to take a major dump, or," He paused, rinsing the soap from his hands. He turned off the faucet.

"Or, you're a complete pervert." He finished by wiping his hands on Kyle's towel, looking at him in narrow eyes, and then exited the bathroom. Kyle watched his little brother leave, with one eyebrow raised and mouth slightly parted, amazed at how intimidating his brother could be.

"I'm not a pervert!" Kyle yelled, and then suddenly heard his 7 year old brother close the door to his room.

"… _I'm not a pervert._" he mumbled to himself, assuring himself that wasn't a perv, regardless of what Ike said. Shaking his head, he put his towel neatly back on the rack, and headed back to his room. His lips were sore from the friction he created on his mouth, and his mouth was a light red color. Slowly opening the door, Kyle peeked through the crack, making sure Cartman went back to sleep. The coast was clear, so he got inside, closed the door gently, and tip-toed back to his bed, avoiding Cartman's body this time. He quickly jerked his head around, getting a glance of the clock on his desk. _2:40_. Getting back on his bed, he repositioned his pillow since most of it was leaning off the bed from his fall, and dropped his head directly in the middle of it.

"_This fucking explains it._" Kyle mumbled quietly, remembering the very confusing dream he was having.

_So the teddy bear I was seeing in my dream… was fatass._

His mind suddenly went back to him waking up, hugging Cartman, along with Cartman's loose arm around Kyle's waste. Kyle's face went a bit red, and he was literally squeezing his cheeks, attempting to get the disturbing image out of his head. He pushed the palms of his hands into his temples, teeth gritted, eyes closed, trying to think of anything other than that scene.

"_Ughh!_" he sputtered accidentally.

"Oh my God. Kyle, shut up. I'm trying to sleep nyah!" Cartman mumbled, facing the opposite direction. The sound of Cartman's voice only irritated the situation further than it already was, as Kyle couldn't stop himself from thinking about it. Kyle really didn't understand why he was making this simple dilemma into something bigger than the Apocalypse. It wasn't that big of a deal, it was just a simple, innocent, meaningless, accidental kiss.

Accidental. Right.

"Wa…." Kyle could hear a faint noise call out to him.

"Wa… Wake … Kyle GET THE FUCK UP!" Kyle let out a shriek and nearly jumped out of bed, eyes wide open staring at the person who unpleasantly woke him up. Cartman raised an eyebrow while accompanied with a look of amusement and confusion.

"DUDE! What the hell? You couldn't have found a better way to wake me up?" Kyle said, somewhat sarcastic.

"Don't _'dude' _me, Khyle. I've been trying to wake you up for the past 10 minutes, and you barely moved an inch. If that scream didn't wake you up I was planning on jumping on your ass."

Kyle narrowed his eyes. "Well it's a good thing I did wake up, because if you _did_ jump on me, we would've been downstairs in the kitchen."

"_Haha_. You're freakin' hilarious, Jew." Cartman said in the most sarcastic and dullest way possible. "Now get up. Its 7:40 and we've got to get to school. I'm not trying to be late just because your mother insists we wait for you before taking me to school."

"Oh shit, school starts in 20 minutes!" Kyle exclaimed as he jumped out of bed and ran for the bathroom, face covered in fear. Cartman couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Kyle running out of the room as if it was on fire.

_Fire. _

He was suddenly dragged back into reality as he soon realized that this wasn't just a sleepover at Kyle's. Remembering the events of yesterday, Cartman's jovial expression was slowly taken over by a look of sadness, loss, and thought.

"… God dammit."

* * *

><p>"Okay kids. I'll be checking to see if you all brought your projects in today, I just gotta finish this text to my husband." Ms. Handoncock babbled to her incredibly loud class.<p>

_To: My Love_

_Why does your sister have to stay in our  
>house? She could stay at your mother's,<br>a motel, hell, even a fucking park bench!  
>That romantic evening we set up last<br>night was totally cockblocked by her  
>lurking ass! I. Am. A. Woman! I have<br>NEEDS. And what I need is your BOOM  
>in my BAM! Make the Boom-Bam, you<br>know? Okay honey, I gotta teach my  
>darn class now. TTYL. That means that<br>I'll talk to you later. (L)_

_P.S. Since we couldn't do the BB at home,  
>How 'bout a nice 'sext' fest during lunch<br>today? ^^ I'll be waiting.. –licks my lips _

_seductively_

"And… SEND. Okay class, time to check those projects!" Ms. Handoncock said with a big smile plastered on her face. She looked around the room meeting the faces of all her students, who happened to look disgusted and confused at the same time.

"Uhh. Ma'am?" Stan spoke up. "Was it really necessary to read that message out loud as you typed it?"

"What? Oh. OHH. Oh dear. I-I-I-I'm terribly sorry class. I- Just ignore everything I said in the past 3 minutes, Mkay?" Her face turned red, and she suddenly found herself biting the inside of her cheeks.

".. Does that include you checking the projects?"

"No, CLYDE. It doesn't include me checking the projects. And I expect yours to be _COMPLETED_." She said, looking directly at Clyde Donovan who shifted in his chair uncomfortably, nervously looking at his desk.

"I expect all of yours to be completed, class! Remember everyone; this grade will count for 20 % of your final quarter grade! Now, move next to your assigned partner from yesterday and put your projects and reports on top of your desk!" The class followed the teacher's orders and got up to sit with the person she assigned them with the day before. Cartman found his way near Kyle's desk, dragging a spare desk closer to his, creating this loud, screeching noise due to the friction from the legs of the desk across the floor. Cartman plopped himself down into the chair and then reached into his book bag to find the project.

"There we go," Cartman said in a content way as he pulled the surprisingly unharmed project out of his bag. Kyle rolled his eyes at how careless Cartman was with their project. He then reached into his own bag to retrieve the report he had done last night. As he was looking for his report folder, his face went red, and his eyes widened.

"..Hey, fatass. Did you … happen to put the report in your bag, by any chance?" Kyle questioned, hoping Cartman would say _yes._

"No."

"Shit." Kyle whispered.

"Why the fuck would I have the report you wouldn't even let me touch?" Cartman said, raising an eyebrow.

"I think I left the report home." Kyle blurted out, suddenly biting his lower lip with the most worried expression on his face.

"What?" Cartman said, slightly confused.

"Since I woke up late this morning, I was in such a rush to get ready. I must have forgotten to put that damn report in my bag!"

"Well good-fucking-going, Jew! Are all Jews this fucking irresponsible, or is it just you?"

"Shut up, Cartman!" The class was loud enough to the point where Kyle's yell was melted in with the other conversations going on. Ms. Handoncock started to check the other student's projects. Kyle gritted his teeth, muttering an _'Oh my God' _through them. That translated to: _If I fail this project and get an F, my mom is going to kill me, and my dad will hide the body. _Kyle's head quickly smashed onto the desk, sending a pain to his head, similar to the pain he felt earlier that morning when he woke up and found himself snuggling and kissing… Oh god.

"_Owww_."

Kyle's face immediately went red, as a result from the pain shooting though his head and embarrassment. He face was full of worry, sadness and anger, due to the fact that he was careless and did not check if all of his school work was in his bag that morning. Kyle ran his hands under his green ushanka, ruffling his hair a bit as his he saw his life flash in front of him. Cartman couldn't help but notice Kyle's little show, suddenly building up a small laughter in his throat. Cartman really enjoyed seeing Kyle agitated and worried, it sort of gave his life purpose, other than getting rid of all Jews and Hippies.

Soon after his chuckles ran out, he picked up his bag and pulled out a green folder. Inside the folder was … their report. He looked at Kyle and smirked as he pulled the report from the flap, placing it silently on Kyle's desk. As he pulled back his hand, Kyle felt the edge of the paper touch his elbow, causing him to move his arm in order to see what was on his desk. He took his hands out of his hair in order to pick up the packet of paper. He blinked once, then twice, and finally his eyes widened, jaw dropped, and mind relieved. A wide grin spread a across his face, only to be destroyed a second later to throw an angry glance at Cartman.

"You're such a dick!" Kyle belted, only leading Cartman into more laughter and tears.

"_Ahahaha! _You're so … cute when you're angry" Cartman managed to say between his laughter.

"You're so lucky that I don't kick your-" His rage was suddenly put into a halt.

"What did you say?" Kyle asked curiously. Cartman quickly froze, realizing what he had just said, mentally bitch slapping himself for not thinking before he spoke.

"I-I didn't say anything, stupid Jew. Maybe if you-you weren't god damn careless I wouldn't have had to take the report you forgot on your computer desk, dumbass," He hesitantly blurted out, quickly hoping that Kyle would get sidetracked. Kyle grunted angrily, and turned his head the opposite way so he wouldn't have to see Cartman's face.

As soon as Kyle wasn't staring at him anymore, Cartman quickly let out a silent sigh of relief, letting out a quiet, breathless "_shit._"

'_Cartman, the fuck? There are things you can say out loud and things you keep in your fucking head! You don't fucking call a guy cute, no matter how adorable they are! Now the kid probably thinks you're a fucking homo!' _Cartman thought to himself, his conscious mentally kicking his ass for saying something so gay out loud.

Kyle, however, was slightly blushing at the thought of Cartman calling him '_cute_'. He didn't know why, but even though he was really mad at Cartman for letting him freak out before telling him that he actually _did_ have the report, it gave him this unexplained happiness inside.

* * *

><p>The boys were all at lunch now, sitting at the table with their lunches sitting in front of them. Cartman was still in the lunch line, aggravating the old lunch lady for an extra scoop of mashed potatoes. Kyle decided to tell the guys his current situation, and why Cartman had no choice but to attend their get together.<p>

"REALLY?"

"Mhm."

"Cartman. Eric Cartman. _Fatass_. Is staying at your house, because his, burnt down?" Stan rephrased.

"Yup." Kyle replied in a defeated voice. A crack came from Kenny's hoodie, indicated a laughter that was being built up, however he forced it back down, not allowing himself to enjoy this hilarity.

"Dude, that sucks major ass!" Stan said, half amused, yet half sincere.

"I know. I just have to deal with it for a month or so until their house is rebuilt."

"That explains why Cartman wasn't logged onto Xbox live! He's ALWAYS logged in, regardless if he's actually on or not." Stan mentioned.

"Well, good luck, Kyle. I'm sure he'll be a lot of fun." Kenny said, struggling not to laugh at his distraught friend.

"… I say 'thanks' to the good luck, but 'fuck you' to the fun part." Kyle shot back, only causing Kenny's held in laughter to burst out of his mouth. Stan and Kyle couldn't help but laugh as well.

"What you homos talking about?" Cartman said climbing up on the bench next to Kyle, whose faded laughter became silent in a matter of seconds. He placed his tray on the table, successfully getting a free extra scoop of mashed potatoes on his plate.

"Bitch didn't give me extra gravy…" Cartman mumbled under his breath.

"Kyle was just telling us about what happened to your house, and how you're staying over his house now." Stan quickly mentioned.

"Oh, yeah. This homo right here has already tried to sleep with me." Cartman stated, placing a spoonful of mashed goodness into his mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this Kyle?" Stan said with a curious smirk on his face. Kenny seemed just as interested.

"No I didn't fatass! I told you I fell off of my bed!" Kyle's face quickly grew red from embarrassment.

"Are you sure that isn't just an excuse, Kyle?" Kenny said teasingly.

"Go to hell, Kenny!"

"Been there, done that." Kenny replied, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway," Kyle started, hoping to change the subject, "So are you guys still coming over today?"

"Yeah, asked my mom yesterday, she said it was fine as long as we don't do drugs or anything." Stan answered.

"…O-Okay. W-why would your mom… Never mind," Kyle said shaking his head. "Kenny? You're still on for today?"

"Mhm, asked my mom yesterday, she said she doesn't give a flying fuck, as long as I took out the trash."

"…You know, I think out of all of the kids in the school, we have the strangest parents."

"Agreed." Stan and Kenny said in unison. "Except for that one kid's dad that uncontrollably slaps everyone he comes into contact with." Stan added.

"_I will slap you so sooper hard." _Kenny's spot on imitation of that dad earned a roar of laughter from Stan and Kyle, with Kenny joining soon after.

Cartman was too busy stuffing his face to even acknowledge the conversation.

"You know, fatass," Kyle began, still laughing softly, "If you keep eating that much food at once, you'll start gaining back the weight you surprisingly lost during 6th and 7th grade."

"Khyle, my house burnt down yesterday, my Xbox is gone, Mr. Kitty is missing, and to top it all off – I'm living with you. Excuse me if I use food to comfort me since no one else seems to give a rat's ass." Cartman replied, placing another spoonful of potatoes in his mouth. Kyle looked at Cartman with a mildly shocked expression, thinking about what he just said, and then slowly looked back to his plate of food. For a moment, Kyle actually felt bad for Cartman, and how he used food to make up for the amount of people that didn't care about him. It made Kyle wonder. Back in his obese days, did he use food to comfort him from something that was hurting him as well? Or was he just being a fatass?

_Hmm, yeah. He was definitely being a fatass…_

"Dude, you know we care, we're your friends. But of course we're gonna find this abnormally funny since it happened to _you_ of all people." Stan implied.

"Yeah, stop using us as an excuse to stuff your fat ass, Cartman." Kenny said in a 'matter-o-fact' way.

"You're just jealous because _I_ can afford to _stuff_ my _fat ass_, Kenny!"

"Don't go there, dick wad!" Kenny quickly retorted. Cartman always knew that Kenny was sensitive when it came to his family's financial problems.

"Maybe if you ass wipes didn't constantly insult me about my weight I wouldn't be such a dick wad." Cartman stated addressing everyone, but looking directly into Kenny's eyes.

"Well don't blame us for your horrid personality, Cartman! Maybe if you weren't such a fucking jackass I wouldn't have the need to call you a dick wad or fatass, now would I?" Kenny was in flames while Cartman was steaming with anger.

"Kenny, don't get mad at me just because your poorer than a bag of horse shit. Now eat your one slice bologna sandwich and shut the fuck up. "

"You know what? I'm glad I'm poor, because if my parents actually earned a decent amount of money and fed us more than they do now, I'd be afraid of turning into a fat piece of inconsiderate shit like you." Cartman's face grew red, and his eyes were filled with hatred. He reached into his pocket and threw spare change at Kenny; some landing in his food, on the table, and on his lap.

"Heh. Maybe now your family can afford more than a waffle for dinner." Cartman quickly got up and charged out of the lunch room.

"That fucking asshole! He always gets to me!" Kenny screamed, gaining the attention of many students in the lunch room.

"Jesus Christ." Stan simply said, eyes wide open, staring at the cafeteria door. Kyle was literally in shock at what he had just witnessed. His friends always argued, sure. But it never got that personal. He looked at the door, then back at Kenny.

"Uhh." Kyle swallowed, making a loud gulp sound. "Are you okay, Kenny?"

"I'm fine, Kyle. Just fine." Kenny said in the most unconvincing way possible as he cleared himself of the 78 cents Cartman flung at him.

"Damn dude. I've never seen Cartman in a more douche baggy state before." Stan said, helping Kenny get the pennies off of his hoodie.

"Yeah, well I have to admit I was being an ass, too." Kenny replied, suddenly realizing that he wasn't the only victim.

"Hey Kyle, I don't think it's a good idea to – Kyle?" Stan looked back across the table to find Kyle missing, and the Cafeteria door swinging shut.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, that's Chapter 4. I forgot to add that this chapter was a tiny bit longer than my other ones :D I love reading these types of stories, and I hope I'm good at it? Ugh, I absolutely hate when people degrade their own work, and I really don't wanna be a hypocrite.. So, I really hope you liked this chapter! Ike was just being a troll, and I realized that I didn't include him in the last chapter, so I gave him a cameo in this chapter :P<strong>

_Okay! hopefully I get the next chapter up soon!_

_Typos = love :D_


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